Shining Moon
by ButterflyTea
Summary: One night...Kaoru sits outside Kenshin's door and tells him everything that she feels after finding out about Tomoe. Maybe slightly OOC. Very subtle KK. Please read and review!


Hello everyone!! Welcome to my fanfic! This is my first time writing one so please be gentle. This is a take on how I think Kaoru would feel after finding about Tomoe from Kenshin. Now sit back, relax and please enjoy what I have written for your enjoying. Please review afterwards! Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated but flames are not, so please don't flame me.  
  
Warning: There is a slight spoiler in this fanfic that occurs during the Jinchuu arc of the manga.  
  
Oh I almost forgot!  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Period  
  
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Shining Moon by Aki no Tenshi  
  
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It was dark tonight. I heard him gasping lightly, his nightmare has come to haunt him again... it hurts to see him like this. I have no power to ease his pain. The only thing I can do is to smile for him and to be happy for him. He's suffered so much...  
  
I sat up from the futon and put my robe on. I wanted to see how he was doing, thinking that maybe I could somehow comfort him this time. I quietly opened the door, creeping along the old floor boards towards his room next to mine. I reached my hand out in front of the door, about to open it when I heard him whisper her name.  
  
'Tomoe.'  
  
I froze. Even though he has suffered more...my heart feels like its being ground into dust. I knew about her, he told us about her and I knew how much he loved her. Withdrawing my thoughts back, I turned around and walked towards the front porch. The house was quiet, nothing moved. Sitting down on the steps, I looked towards the sky and so it darkly clouded. No matter how much the moon may shine...those clouds will always hide it behind the darkness.  
  
I gazed at the dark clouds, floating aimlessly about the night sky. The water in the well thrashed lightly against the stone walls, crickets played their song and the grass whistled in the light breeze. My thoughts of him began to push forward in my mind, each step a painful jab to my already wounded heart. But even as I thought of those wrenching feelings, I began pacing aimlessly around the house and I find in front of his room. My heart unable to reject him. I stood in front of his door with my palm on top of the pale wood. I slid to my knees, eyes cast down and I began to whisper my thoughts to him as if he were awake. I needed to tell him what I felt, even if he wasn't awake to hear it.  
  
"Why? Why am I not good enough? Why can't I fill the hole in your heart? Why are you still clinging to your past? Why can't you love me?!?'  
  
A gripping feeling begin spread through my chest, clutching at my throat and refusing to give me more air.  
  
'Day in and day out...I watched you, giving you all the love I had to give, but you didn't give me any back. Do you know how much it hurts??? How badly it hurt to watch you thinking of another woman... she hated you! Even though she fell in love with you, she still betrayed you! She left you!"  
  
I began to gasp sharply. The pain was welling up in my chest, threatening to burst in a torrential downpour. I gave myself a few moments to regain my voice. I needed to go on, I needed to tell him the truth.  
  
"I am here...I am here right in front of you. Don't I mean anything to you?! All those times you saved me, all those times you made me think you cared enough to love me...they were all lies. I would go to sleep each night thinking about you, and the pain comes with it. I wanted to erase it all from my mind. Just clean everything and paint it white. Then I wouldn't have to feel the pain anymore, but when I wake up I see you and your smile and I fall in love all over again...  
  
It's not fair how you treat me...acting like you cared and then turning your thoughts to a woman long gone. Honestly, I hate her. I hate her for tearing you apart and leaving me to try and mend your heart while you still long for her. I want to be selfish! I want to scream at you that you should just forget that ghost woman and be with me instead...I just sounded ugly didn't I? All those ugly thoughts...maybe I am no better than a ghost of your memories...maybe I can't ease the demons you house in your heart, but I can give you the love you need! If you gave me time...if you even gave me a chance...I have no doubt that I could soothe your demons.  
  
I don't know what to do anymore. I may seem strong and tough on the outside...but I am dying on the inside. I don't think I can take it much longer...one day I am going to break. Break into a million pieces that can't be put back together. But even then, after all these thoughts...I still care. I care so much it hurts. Maybe one day you'll realize this, that I will always be here waiting for you. If you decide to leave this place, I will always be here to open you with open arms to welcome you home. As long as you are happy, I can keep on smiling for you."  
  
I leaned my head against the door watching the silent tears roll down my face and soak into the floor. My heart was beating so hard and so fast, my lungs were constricted leaving me gasping for more air. It was almost over. After this...I cast this burden of my shoulders.  
  
"And maybe one day, you can love me back...Oyasumi, Kenshin..."  
  
With that said, I got up onto my feet and slowly trudged to my room, clutching at my chest. I reached my room and fell onto my futon...and began to cry myself to sleep. To wash away the heartache.  
  
'Tomorrow is a new day...'  
  
----------------------------- [Elsewhere]  
  
A figure was sitting with one knee up and backed up against the wall. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were half-lidded. They glowed a peculiar violet-amber color and seemed to filled with so much regret, so much guilt. Whispering into the folds of his hakama, he said,  
  
"Gomen...Kaoru."  
  
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The night was truly dark. The clouds were a pitch black, blocking the shining moon. No matter how hard the moons shines...it will always be hidden it behind those dark clouds. But in the distance...a single star could be seen. A single, twinkling star.  
  
~Owari~  
  
--------------------------- Thank you for taking the time to read this one-shot of mine. I was really scared that it wouldn't be any good...it probably isn't but I take pride in the fact I actually wrote one!! Please review!! If you want to see better quality writing from me, tips and advice would be great!! NO FLAMES! Once again, thank you for reading and I hope to be able to provide more fanfics for your future reading enjoyment!  
  
~Aki no Tenshi 


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